Everyone keeps telling it will get better.
But when will it? For the last week, I have had no desire to do anything. Don’t want to go to class, don’t want to go to softball, don’t want to do my homework, etc. The truth is, it won’t get better. My grandfather was my life, my rock, my “father”, the man who pretty much raised me. He meant everything to me and now he’s gone. Yes, it has only been a week, but this week has been the hardest especially knowing that when I go back home again from school, he won’t be there. I’ll never be in his arms again, I’ll never hear his voice again, I won’t be able to hug or kiss him again, and I won’t feel his love again. He won’t see my first college softball game/next three years, he won’t see me graduate from college, and he won’t get to see me grow older and depend on myself. He was supposed to be here for those things but fucking cancer took him away from me. I know I’ll have the memories, but I can’t deal with the fact that he’s gone from this world. I would do anything just to have him here. He had 20-30 more years in him! 69 was too young! Life just fucking sucks.
